eli’s hand

eli’s hand
Originally uploaded by Daoist56.

He and I were playing around on some playground equip when I got this. Don’t know if it will show up on your monitior, but the skin on his hand has been very dry and cracked lately, to the point of bleeding, from the antibacterial soap they use at daycare. Which breaks my heart.
It’s gotten better though since he’s using a special soap.
Pot-luck tonight – in 1/2 hour. None of my family can be here, which leaves me feeling very lonely – as I do each time I drop the kids off on a Tuesday monring, not to see them again until Saturday at 5:00. The anxiety it brings to me to leave them in the hands of other people, to be such a small part of their lives – I cannot express adequately. It’s as in this image – I’m in the background, out of focus and cut off.

One response to “eli’s hand

  1. a ginger ale friend

    It’s icky to have to divide and allocate time with your children, but Eli and his brothers are lucky that they get so much time with their father. I know it doesn’t work out that way for a lot of kids, or for most of them. What can you do? You’re doing the best you can. But it’s good to not shy away from the hardness of not getting to be there all the time, because giving up and being there rarely is rougher. I think your arrangement seems saner than that of most split up families I know. When I was three and half and moved with my mom and my brother from Chicago to my grandma’s house in Maryland, I asked, “Is Granddad my new dad?” Your kids don’t have to wonder how to replace you, because you’re still there… That’s a blessing.

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